1
00:00:33,165 --> 00:00:35,332
Honey, I'm home.

2
00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:05,562
<i>Welcome back to Dirty Dare!</i>

3
00:01:05,664 --> 00:01:07,030
<i>As you can see,</i>

4
00:01:07,132 --> 00:01:08,898
<i>I've covered both
our contestants</i>

5
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,168
<i>with chunks of meat. Oh...</i>

6
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:15,205
<i>Next we're going to throw
them into the pit 'o wild dogs</i>

7
00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:18,241
<i>where they'll try and
find the one unlocked door</i>

8
00:01:18,343 --> 00:01:21,177
<i>that leads to safety
and our grand prize</i>

9
00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:23,313
<i>$25 savings bond</i>

10
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:25,382
<i>and candy!</i>

11
00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:27,917
<i>- Wow, yeah!
- Sound easy?</i>

12
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:31,988
<i>Well, it won't be,
wearing these high heels.</i>

13
00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:36,493
<i>Come on, come
on. It's all in fun.</i>

14
00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:39,908
- Again!
- Blood.

15
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,232
You know, there's a
lot of housework to do,

16
00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:44,867
and it wouldn't hurt you to
get off your big green butts

17
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,736
and give me a hand around here.

18
00:01:46,838 --> 00:01:49,238
Jeez! Fran, what
you choose to do

19
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,174
in your free time's up to you.

20
00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:53,009
We wanna watch television.

21
00:01:53,111 --> 00:01:54,644
And now that we have cable,

22
00:01:54,746 --> 00:01:57,814
our TV's become a
rocket sled to adventure.

23
00:01:57,916 --> 00:01:59,716
Buckle up, kids. Yeah!

24
00:01:59,818 --> 00:02:02,819
<i>Hi, and welcome to The
Hat Channel, 24 hours a day</i>

25
00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:05,589
<i>of hat news, hat features
and hat happenings.</i>

26
00:02:05,691 --> 00:02:07,836
Oh, great. Hat news.

27
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:11,160
Oh, Fran, there's so much
out there to see and do.

28
00:02:11,263 --> 00:02:14,531
And now, we can experience
it all without leaving our chairs.

29
00:02:14,632 --> 00:02:17,400
<i>The fire swept through
two square city blocks.</i>

30
00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:20,737
<i>Miraculously, no
hats were damaged.</i>

31
00:02:20,839 --> 00:02:22,639
Yipee. There's some good news.

32
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:24,807
Dad, you're lingering.

33
00:02:24,909 --> 00:02:27,110
Oh, right.

34
00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:30,447
<i>Hello. You're on the air,
and I'm Just Listening.</i>

35
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:33,216
<i>Did you have a personal
problem you wanted to talk about?</i>

36
00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:35,919
<i>Yes, it's my son. He
won't speak to me.</i>

37
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:39,756
<i>Really? That's too bad.
Kids can be like that.</i>

38
00:02:39,858 --> 00:02:42,092
<i>Well, good luck.</i>

39
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:43,772
<i>Hello. You're on the air.</i>

40
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,595
<i>What's on your mind today?</i>

41
00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:48,197
<i>Hi. I've got a
problem with my boss.</i>

42
00:02:48,299 --> 00:02:51,501
<i>Oh, gee. Problems
at work are the worst.</i>

43
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,803
<i>I hope everything turns out OK.</i>

44
00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:55,171
<i>Bye.</i>

45
00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:57,907
<i>Hi. I'm Just Listening.
What's your problem?</i>

46
00:02:58,009 --> 00:02:59,620
<i>It's amazing, isn't it, Mike?</i>

47
00:02:59,644 --> 00:03:02,078
<i>Not only does it give my
car a showroom shine,</i>

48
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:05,515
<i>it improves my gas mileage
and cured my spastic colon.</i>

49
00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:06,795
Wait a minute.

50
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:08,118
I know it's hard to believe.

51
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,220
But they couldn't
say it if it wasn't true.

52
00:03:10,322 --> 00:03:12,400
No, no, no, go back
to that talk show.

53
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:15,792
Fran, I'm paying
for 162 stations here,

54
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:17,460
and I'm not gonna waste my money

55
00:03:17,562 --> 00:03:19,963
looking at just one of them
for more than eight seconds.

56
00:03:20,065 --> 00:03:22,365
But at least the last
one had real dinosaurs

57
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:24,467
talking about real problems.

58
00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:26,102
Ho-ho, kids.

59
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:28,305
Looks like the cable
bug's got your mother.

60
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:31,007
Slide over and welcome
her to the dynamic world

61
00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,876
of watching other
folks doing stuff.

62
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,622
Yeah, come on, Mom.

63
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:36,245
<i>Hello. You're on the air.</i>

64
00:03:36,347 --> 00:03:38,787
<i>My name is Liz. I have
a really big problem.</i>

65
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:42,284
<i>Oh, that's too bad.
Let's take another call.</i>

66
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,821
<i>Hello. You're on the air.</i>

67
00:03:46,858 --> 00:03:49,426
<i>You're on the air,
and I'm Just Listening.</i>

68
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:52,295
<i>Hi. I don't think my
life's not worth living.</i>

69
00:03:52,397 --> 00:03:55,030
<i>I'm on a cellular phone,
and I'm on this high ledge.</i>

70
00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:57,000
<i>That's rough.
Hope you get over it.</i>

71
00:03:57,102 --> 00:03:59,513
<i>If things work out,
give us a jingle.</i>

72
00:03:59,537 --> 00:04:01,377
<i>Come on, jump!</i>

73
00:04:01,473 --> 00:04:04,173
Hungry. Closer.
Come on! Come on!

74
00:04:04,275 --> 00:04:07,343
Hello, Mama!

75
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:10,780
You know what the
problem is with this show?

76
00:04:10,882 --> 00:04:13,850
It's the host. He
doesn't do anything.

77
00:04:13,952 --> 00:04:15,963
I'm going to call him.

78
00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:16,886
What?

79
00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:19,255
Hey, where you going?

80
00:04:19,357 --> 00:04:21,124
I'm hungry!

81
00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:23,126
Ohh.

82
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:28,231
Ahh.

83
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:29,933
Mm-hm.

84
00:04:35,006 --> 00:04:38,741
Ooh, look what I made. Art.

85
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:41,011
<i>You're on the air.
What's your problem?</i>

86
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:42,624
<i>Hi, my name's Fran.</i>

87
00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:44,781
<i>I've been watching your
show since yesterday.</i>

88
00:04:44,883 --> 00:04:46,603
<i>I'd like to make a suggestion.</i>

89
00:04:46,684 --> 00:04:49,919
It's the mama! The
mama fell in the TV.

90
00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:52,622
<i>I think that instead of
just listening to dinosaurs</i>

91
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:55,592
tell you their problems,
you should try to help them.

92
00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:57,827
<i>Well, it's always nice
to hear suggestions.</i>

93
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,296
<i>Thanks for calling.</i>

94
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:00,596
<i>No, I'm serious.</i>

95
00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:02,999
You could give them
advice, tell them things

96
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:05,134
that might actually
solve their problems.

97
00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:07,971
<i>That's fascinating. Well,
gotta take another call.</i>

98
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:10,173
<i>- Excuse me. Fran, is it?
- Yes.</i>

99
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,976
<i>The name's Jerry Valentine.
I'm the show's producer.</i>

100
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:15,578
<i>You may be on to something
with this whole advice angle.</i>

101
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:18,114
<i>Hang on, Jer, I don't
give advice. I just listen.</i>

102
00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:20,349
<i>See? Just Listenin'.</i>

103
00:05:20,451 --> 00:05:22,819
<i>You are so threatened
by the tiniest suggestions.</i>

104
00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:24,766
<i>Isn't that interesting?</i>

105
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,690
<i>The lady gave me an idea.</i>

106
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,524
<i>If you could just
give it half a chance.</i>

107
00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:31,061
<i>Look, Jer, as long as I'm here,</i>

108
00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:33,274
<i>I'm Just Listenin'.
You got that?</i>

109
00:05:33,298 --> 00:05:34,764
<i>And if you don't like it,</i>

110
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:37,366
<i>you can find
yourself a new host.</i>

111
00:05:37,468 --> 00:05:39,535
I appreciate your
sending the car for me,

112
00:05:39,637 --> 00:05:41,537
but I do have a
roast in the oven.

113
00:05:41,639 --> 00:05:43,206
Look, forget the roast.

114
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:44,588
You've got talent, kid.

115
00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:46,620
I mean, talent is a divine gift.

116
00:05:46,644 --> 00:05:48,923
To squander it
would be... a sin.

117
00:05:48,947 --> 00:05:51,191
Now, don't say anything
to upset the sponsor.

118
00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:52,727
- Here we go.
- What?

119
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:55,251
<i>And now it's time
for Just Advisin'</i>

120
00:05:55,353 --> 00:05:56,931
<i>with your host Fran Sinclair!</i>

121
00:05:56,955 --> 00:05:58,866
What do you mean,
don't upset the sponsor?

122
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:01,124
What do you think
I should... say?

123
00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:03,504
Lights. Yes! And...

124
00:06:03,528 --> 00:06:05,161
- Hi.
- Action!

125
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,497
- I'm Fran.
- Yeah.

126
00:06:07,599 --> 00:06:09,299
Huh? Come on.

127
00:06:10,268 --> 00:06:11,501
Take a call.

128
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:13,471
Huh?

129
00:06:13,504 --> 00:06:15,705
Push the button, Fran.

130
00:06:16,841 --> 00:06:18,874
Oh, uh...

131
00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:20,510
Uh, hello. Ooh!

132
00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:22,078
Uh, hello.

133
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,647
<i>Hi, Fran, the
reason I'm calling is,</i>

134
00:06:24,749 --> 00:06:26,494
<i>I'm not sure, but I
think my husband</i>

135
00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:27,950
<i>may be having an affair.</i>

136
00:06:28,052 --> 00:06:31,120
Oh. Well, uh...
gee, maybe, um...

137
00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:33,256
Maybe you should ask him.

138
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:36,526
<i>Ask him! Wow! Incredible advice.</i>

139
00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:37,727
<i>Thanks.</i>

140
00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:39,929
Ooh! Powerful stuff, Fran.

141
00:06:40,031 --> 00:06:41,130
Yeah?

142
00:06:41,232 --> 00:06:42,665
Ground-breaking. Do it again.

143
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:46,468
Oh. Uh, hello.
You're on the air.

144
00:06:46,571 --> 00:06:49,172
<i>Hi, Fran. Love your
show. Never miss it.</i>

145
00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:51,285
Thanks, but I've only
been on about a minute.

146
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:52,989
<i>Well, you're doing a great job.</i>

147
00:06:53,078 --> 00:06:55,198
<i>I'm having a problems
with my teenage son.</i>

148
00:06:55,246 --> 00:06:57,146
<i>He refuses to walk
on his hind legs</i>

149
00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:58,893
<i>like the rest of the family.</i>

150
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:00,817
<i>Should I snap his neck or what?</i>

151
00:07:00,919 --> 00:07:02,919
If it were my son, I
wouldn't snap his neck

152
00:07:02,954 --> 00:07:05,554
right off the bat. He may
just be going through a phase.

153
00:07:05,657 --> 00:07:07,697
<i>You're right. I've
been terribly unfair.</i>

154
00:07:07,725 --> 00:07:10,226
<i>Thank you, Fran. You
saved my life and my son's.</i>

155
00:07:10,328 --> 00:07:11,608
Yes!

156
00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:13,696
<i>Men, do you suffer</i>

157
00:07:13,798 --> 00:07:15,464
<i>from short attention spans?</i>

158
00:07:15,566 --> 00:07:17,299
Yeah.

159
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:19,368
<i>Why don't you try
letting your husband</i>

160
00:07:19,470 --> 00:07:20,915
<i>think he's won the argument</i>

161
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,750
<i>and then do what
you want anyway?</i>

162
00:07:22,774 --> 00:07:24,814
<i>I know that's what I
do with my husband.</i>

163
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:26,254
Hey, Earl, isn't that your wife?

164
00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:28,711
<i>Hello. You're on the air.</i>

165
00:07:28,813 --> 00:07:30,947
Gee, and I thought
you brought the TV in

166
00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:32,348
so we could watch the game.

167
00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,950
What's your wife
doing with a job?

168
00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:37,320
Yeah, wives don't
work. They're wives.

169
00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:39,266
If they worked,
they'd be husbands.

170
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:42,424
That's not my wife
or my husband.

171
00:07:42,527 --> 00:07:44,126
Uh... boy,

172
00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:45,995
I have to make a phone call

173
00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:48,197
about something
totally unrelated.

174
00:07:48,299 --> 00:07:50,767
Duh...

175
00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:53,014
Well, it sure looks like Fran,

176
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:54,970
and she's got the same name.

177
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:59,108
But it's absurd that she
should have her own TV show.

178
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:00,610
Maybe it's her sister.

179
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,044
Roy, that's nuts!

180
00:08:02,146 --> 00:08:04,258
Her sister wouldn't
have the same name.

181
00:08:04,282 --> 00:08:05,515
I don't know.

182
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:08,150
My brother Roy says it
happens more than you'd think.

183
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:09,533
Uhh.

184
00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:12,021
Well, I don't know.

185
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:14,023
<i>Just tell your
husband not to take</i>

186
00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:16,492
<i>the whole paper with him.</i>

187
00:08:16,594 --> 00:08:18,161
<i>Hi. You're on the air.</i>

188
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:21,431
Hello, is this my
wife? Please say no.

189
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:24,400
<i>- Earl?
- Oh, jeez!</i>

190
00:08:24,502 --> 00:08:25,968
Hey! Hey, Earl!

191
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,604
You're on TV!

192
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,574
<i>♪ Earl's wife's got a job ♪</i>

193
00:08:31,676 --> 00:08:33,442
What's going on out here?

194
00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:36,946
Huh? Oh, Uh... uh,
nothing. Nothing at all.

195
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,215
We're just having
fun at Earl's expense.

196
00:08:39,317 --> 00:08:42,985
Oh, humiliation.
Great stuff! I want in!

197
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,754
Channel 86, boss.

198
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:48,891
<i>Earl, I'm working.</i>

199
00:08:48,993 --> 00:08:51,961
That's impossible. You were
in the kitchen just this morning.

200
00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:54,931
<i>Can we please talk
about this at home?</i>

201
00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:58,768
Yeah, Earl, after
you make dinner!

202
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,836
Dinner! That's great!

203
00:09:00,938 --> 00:09:04,140
Guys, I'd like to be alone
with my wife, please.

204
00:09:04,242 --> 00:09:05,919
<i>Roy, turn off the set!</i>

205
00:09:05,943 --> 00:09:07,743
No problem, pally-boy.

206
00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:10,245
Here you go, complete privacy.

207
00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:12,481
Hey! What'd you do that for?

208
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:15,251
Give me that. There.

209
00:09:15,353 --> 00:09:18,988
<i>Earl, I can't talk about
this now. I have other calls.</i>

210
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:22,659
We will talk about it now,
Fran, because I say so,

211
00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:25,127
and I am the mighty
megalosaurus...

212
00:09:25,229 --> 00:09:26,662
<i>Thank you.</i>

213
00:09:33,505 --> 00:09:35,138
Hey, she got you, Sinclair!

214
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,173
Made you look like
a thundering boob

215
00:09:37,275 --> 00:09:41,077
in front of millions of viewers.

216
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,420
"and so the woolly
mammoth learned

217
00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,823
if you marry something
smaller than you,

218
00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:56,003
you have to always be
careful where you step."

219
00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:57,960
Oh, tough lesson.

220
00:09:58,062 --> 00:09:58,927
Mm-hm.

221
00:09:59,029 --> 00:10:00,196
Read another one.

222
00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:02,242
No. I think that's
enough for now.

223
00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:04,333
OK.

224
00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:06,035
Then feed me! Feed me!

225
00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:07,570
That I can do.

226
00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:09,439
Good, good, good. Feed me.

227
00:10:11,476 --> 00:10:14,009
What do you want?

228
00:10:14,111 --> 00:10:16,011
Baby bottle, please.

229
00:10:16,113 --> 00:10:17,480
There you go.

230
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,916
Thank you.

231
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,551
Ah, good, good,
good. Ha, ha, ha.

232
00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:24,098
- There you go.
- Gimme, gimme.

233
00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:27,323
Gimme. Mmm. Ahh.

234
00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:29,792
Will you look at this?

235
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:31,694
My wife goes off and gets a job

236
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:35,031
and leaves our precious
bundle of joy here all alone.

237
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,499
I'm here.

238
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,434
Fine, all alone with Monica.

239
00:10:38,536 --> 00:10:41,637
Earl, the baby and I are
getting along just fine.

240
00:10:41,739 --> 00:10:45,008
Monica, you can't possibly
replace the bond of love

241
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,710
between a parent and a child.

242
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,013
Poor motherless thing.

243
00:10:50,115 --> 00:10:52,815
Not the Monica!

244
00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:55,684
I think I can
handle it from here.

245
00:10:55,786 --> 00:10:56,786
Hi, Dad.

246
00:10:56,821 --> 00:10:58,421
Is Mom back from work yet?

247
00:10:58,523 --> 00:11:01,557
Look at them, orphans
crying out for their mother,

248
00:11:01,659 --> 00:11:03,804
wailing against this injustice.

249
00:11:03,828 --> 00:11:05,628
Personally, I'm proud of her.

250
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,797
Yeah, hey, she's
practically a celebrity.

251
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:10,633
- Yeah. Jeez.
- Jeez.

252
00:11:10,735 --> 00:11:12,868
Look, you two, when
your mother gets home,

253
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:14,837
you better act betrayed
and abandoned,

254
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,700
or you're both out of here.

255
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,608
Earl, Fran's now
a working female.

256
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,821
She's under a lot of pressure.

257
00:11:20,845 --> 00:11:23,045
And right now, what she
needs more than anything

258
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,293
from her loving husband
is understanding,

259
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,216
compassion and support.

260
00:11:27,318 --> 00:11:28,818
Not a chance, tootsie.

261
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,920
I see your radical
agenda at work here.

262
00:11:31,022 --> 00:11:32,622
What agenda?

263
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,791
You want the wives out of the
houses and into the workforce

264
00:11:35,894 --> 00:11:37,626
so they're fulfilled

265
00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,962
and their husbands have
a new respect for them

266
00:11:40,064 --> 00:11:42,064
and the sexes live
together in harmony.

267
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:44,600
And then, uh...

268
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,569
I don't have all the pieces
to your diabolical scheme.

269
00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:50,172
You sense a threat to
your male-dominated world.

270
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,241
You got that right.

271
00:11:52,343 --> 00:11:54,676
You've gotta stop
hitting your daddy

272
00:11:54,778 --> 00:11:56,390
on the head with
that juice bottle.

273
00:11:56,414 --> 00:11:58,581
- Ha, ha, ha.
- I'm home!

274
00:11:58,683 --> 00:11:59,782
Oh.

275
00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:03,118
How can I say
this nicely? Get out.

276
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,355
You two, act abandoned.

277
00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:06,756
No way.

278
00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:08,190
Hey, look hungry.

279
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:12,796
Sorry.

280
00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:15,798
Bye, kids. Good luck.

281
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,467
Where have you been?

282
00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:20,436
- I was out.
- Out. My point exactly.

283
00:12:20,538 --> 00:12:22,838
You were out at some
job I didn't know about

284
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:25,974
when you should have been
here, putting dinner on the table.

285
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:27,577
What's that on the table?

286
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,679
- Dinner.
- Wow! Takeout food.

287
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:32,114
And it's still kicking,
very expensive.

288
00:12:32,216 --> 00:12:34,376
Oh, I see your little game.

289
00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:36,363
You skip out on the family,

290
00:12:36,387 --> 00:12:38,365
then you try to weasel
your way back in

291
00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:41,824
with expensive culinary
delights we can't afford.

292
00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:44,060
- Spit that out!
- Ow!

293
00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:46,039
It's going back
to the restaurant.

294
00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:48,063
Hey, I had a hat.

295
00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:51,434
Oh. Oh. Here you go.

296
00:12:51,536 --> 00:12:53,435
Yeah.

297
00:12:53,537 --> 00:12:54,704
Thanks.

298
00:12:54,806 --> 00:12:56,272
Earl, we can afford it.

299
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:58,740
I got an advance on
my first week's salary.

300
00:12:58,843 --> 00:13:00,687
I know. It's very exciting.

301
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:02,489
You got yourself a little job,

302
00:13:02,513 --> 00:13:05,281
and you're making
yourself a little money,

303
00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:20,596
Hey, hubba-hubba, pally-boy.

304
00:13:20,698 --> 00:13:22,331
Looking good.

305
00:13:22,433 --> 00:13:26,068
Yeah. Check out the
tie. Matching plaid.

306
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,451
Oh!

307
00:13:27,505 --> 00:13:29,271
Can't even see it.

308
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,273
Yeah. Sure sign of quality.

309
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:34,544
Oh, and, uh, check
out the handkerchief.

310
00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:35,912
What handkerchief?

311
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:38,347
Am I styling or what?

312
00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:41,951
So, what gives?
You win the lottery

313
00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:44,520
or maybe a rich
relative got eaten?

314
00:13:44,622 --> 00:13:45,988
It's the wife.

315
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:49,091
Oh, gee, I'm sorry to hear that.

316
00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:50,860
I always liked Fran.

317
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:52,795
No, no, she's still alive.

318
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:55,097
And what's better,
she's making money.

319
00:13:55,199 --> 00:13:56,632
Hey!

320
00:13:56,734 --> 00:13:58,834
And I'm being taken care of.

321
00:13:58,936 --> 00:14:00,213
Ooh!

322
00:14:00,237 --> 00:14:02,304
I think I'll go get
my nails done today

323
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:05,207
and maybe bikini wax.

324
00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:08,110
Hey Earl. Nice hat.

325
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:09,912
Hey, what's that smell?

326
00:14:10,014 --> 00:14:11,246
Oh, that.

327
00:14:11,348 --> 00:14:13,983
It's an expensive
fragrance that Fran got me.

328
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,518
Nice, huh?

329
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:18,454
It makes me feel as fresh
as a bright summer's day.

330
00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:22,925
Gee, sometimes I
feel... not so fresh.

331
00:14:23,027 --> 00:14:24,793
Sinclair, now!

332
00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:27,863
Whoa! He forgot
to say, "Get in here."

333
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:30,399
Well, I think he feels
comfortable enough with us

334
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:31,967
that he doesn't have to.

335
00:14:32,069 --> 00:14:35,137
<i>Thanks for calling,
and line two...</i>

336
00:14:35,239 --> 00:14:36,638
Yes, my captain.

337
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,107
Your wife's show.

338
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:41,176
Oh, it's completely out of my
hands, sir. There's nothing...

339
00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:42,778
My wife loves it.

340
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,246
Oh. Thank you, sir.

341
00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:46,949
I always try to encourage
my Fran to speak her mind.

342
00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,150
But I hate it!

343
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:50,063
But not to speak
her mind so much

344
00:14:50,087 --> 00:14:52,465
that it could possibly
bother or offend anyone.

345
00:14:52,489 --> 00:14:53,989
That was her idea completely.

346
00:14:54,091 --> 00:14:55,657
I kind of like the parts

347
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,893
where she uses you
as her idiot example,

348
00:14:57,995 --> 00:14:59,595
and you get humiliated.

349
00:14:59,697 --> 00:15:01,029
Oh. Thank you.

350
00:15:01,131 --> 00:15:05,301
What I don't like is, is put
ideas into my wife's head.

351
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:08,037
And my wife's head
is no place for ideas.

352
00:15:08,139 --> 00:15:09,771
- No.
- No wife's head is.

353
00:15:09,873 --> 00:15:11,307
It's too dangerous.

354
00:15:11,409 --> 00:15:14,076
Could rip apart the
very fabric of our society.

355
00:15:14,178 --> 00:15:15,378
You understand.

356
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,847
I... Uh, uh...

357
00:15:17,949 --> 00:15:19,615
I want to so badly.

358
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:22,018
Get your wife off the TV!

359
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,387
Ah, well, that
could be difficult, sir.

360
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,889
You see, she's
fulfilled and happy

361
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:29,825
and making what I'd call an
obscene amount of money.

362
00:15:29,927 --> 00:15:31,527
Hmm.

363
00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:36,432
Earl, I don't want to meddle
into your personal affairs,

364
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:38,601
but as your friend and mentor,

365
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:41,370
I advise you to be careful.

366
00:15:42,373 --> 00:15:44,351
Am I in more danger
than usual, sir?

367
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:45,708
Why, sure.

368
00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:48,176
Wife starts making
money, next thing you know,

369
00:15:48,278 --> 00:15:50,358
she'll want to have
more of what they call...

370
00:15:50,415 --> 00:15:52,515
input.

371
00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:54,516
Input?

372
00:15:54,618 --> 00:15:57,686
Oh, yeah. Very dangerous.

373
00:15:57,789 --> 00:15:59,566
Female starts to make money,

374
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,391
she tends to get more
bossy around the house.

375
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:05,227
Input. Watch out for it.

376
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:09,498
Well, that's not going to
happen with my Frannie.

377
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,501
'Cause before I
let her input me,

378
00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:14,723
I'm going to take all
the stuff she bought me,

379
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:18,840
load it in the car and
return some of it. Ha!

380
00:16:22,914 --> 00:16:25,881
Fran, I'm home,
and I'm starving.

381
00:16:25,983 --> 00:16:27,249
Is dinner ready?

382
00:16:27,351 --> 00:16:29,952
Earl, I'm home,
and I'm starving.

383
00:16:30,054 --> 00:16:31,687
Is dinner ready?

384
00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:36,759
Dinner?

385
00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:39,039
I'd love some. Thank you.

386
00:16:39,063 --> 00:16:41,664
Well, then why don't
you make something?

387
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:43,410
Oh, Earl, I'm too tired.

388
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:45,111
Would you mind running out

389
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:47,247
and picking something up?

390
00:16:47,271 --> 00:16:50,372
Money.

391
00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:53,308
I see. I see.

392
00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:55,644
So this is your input

393
00:16:55,746 --> 00:16:57,612
into the dinner decision, is it?

394
00:16:57,714 --> 00:16:59,960
Would you rather we
had something delivered?

395
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:02,151
Oh, something delivered.

396
00:17:02,253 --> 00:17:04,820
Some more input, hey, Fran?

397
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,934
What are you talking about?

398
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,325
Right. That's it. Job's over.

399
00:17:09,427 --> 00:17:11,160
Tomorrow you quit.

400
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:12,761
I am not quitting.

401
00:17:12,863 --> 00:17:15,130
- Oh, yes, you are, Fran.
- No, I'm not, Earl.

402
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:18,400
I've made my decision,
and I am the husband.

403
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:20,436
Need I say more?

404
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,971
<i>Husbands can be so pigheaded.</i>

405
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:24,907
Maybe I needed to say more.

406
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,209
<i>That's why communication
is so important.</i>

407
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,345
<i>When you say communication,</i>

408
00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:32,181
<i>do you mean like throwing
a frying pan at him?</i>

409
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:35,451
<i>Well, I've certainly wanted
to do that with my husband.</i>

410
00:17:35,553 --> 00:17:39,255
<i>But I'm sure it's not easy
being a male dinosaur,</i>

411
00:17:39,356 --> 00:17:41,757
<i>working your tail
off day after day,</i>

412
00:17:41,859 --> 00:17:43,959
<i>getting yelled at by your boss</i>

413
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:46,762
<i>just so your family
can have a better life.</i>

414
00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:49,765
<i>Now that I'm working, I know
what the pressure feels like.</i>

415
00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:53,135
<i>It makes me sympathetic
to what males go through,</i>

416
00:17:53,237 --> 00:17:54,837
<i>although it's not easy.</i>

417
00:17:54,939 --> 00:17:57,239
Hey, I wonder if that
was meant for me?

418
00:17:57,341 --> 00:17:59,019
Well, I think you
married yourself

419
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,343
a pretty deep dinosaur
there, pally-boy.

420
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:03,912
Yeah. Well, she
does the best she can.

421
00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:05,347
Yeah.

422
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:09,784
Hey, that's lunch.
Long morning, huh?

423
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,898
Let's go see
what's on the truck.

424
00:18:11,922 --> 00:18:13,022
You got it.

425
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:15,358
<i>Hi, this is Fran.
You're on the air.</i>

426
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:17,259
<i>Hi, Fran. It's Frank.</i>

427
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:18,594
<i>I had this show</i>

428
00:18:18,696 --> 00:18:21,263
<i>when it was called Just
Listenin', you remember?</i>

429
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,599
<i>Oh, sure, Frank.
How have you been?</i>

430
00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:25,278
<i>Fine. Thanks.</i>

431
00:18:25,302 --> 00:18:27,302
<i>Giving advice is
a big improvement</i>

432
00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:29,104
<i>- over just listening.
- Yeah.</i>

433
00:18:29,206 --> 00:18:30,917
<i>But I think your audience, Fran,</i>

434
00:18:30,941 --> 00:18:33,942
<i>is ready for the next step,
something more visual.</i>

435
00:18:34,044 --> 00:18:35,110
<i>Oh, like what?</i>

436
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,757
<i>Off the top of my head,</i>

437
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:39,214
<i>why don't you have
couples that don't get along</i>

438
00:18:39,316 --> 00:18:41,294
<i>come on the show and
resolve their problems</i>

439
00:18:41,318 --> 00:18:43,318
<i>by throwing things
at each other?</i>

440
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:46,555
<i>That just sounds like a
shameless grab for ratings.</i>

441
00:18:46,657 --> 00:18:48,223
<i>Frank? Yeah, Jerry.</i>

442
00:18:48,325 --> 00:18:50,459
<i>Listen, run that
throwing thing concept</i>

443
00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:52,495
<i>by me again, will you?</i>

444
00:19:02,306 --> 00:19:03,306
Yuck.

445
00:19:03,407 --> 00:19:05,085
What's the matter with you?

446
00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,708
This milk tastes bad.

447
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:10,379
It's all that's
left. Deal with it.

448
00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:13,282
Ow!

449
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:15,251
I feel better now.

450
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:16,918
I can't believe this.

451
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:19,754
I threw these dirty clothes
on the floor this morning,

452
00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:21,523
I come home.
They're still there.

453
00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:22,858
I mean, what's going on?

454
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,228
Mom's working. That's
why we're drinking sour milk.

455
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,570
You know, I was all for
this Mom gets a job thing

456
00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,132
when it was just more money,

457
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,412
but now it's starting
to inconvenience me.

458
00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:34,803
These clothes are
not getting any cleaner.

459
00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:37,139
Well, why don't you
just go and wash them?

460
00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:40,442
Oh, yeah? Why don't you
just go buy some more milk?

461
00:19:40,544 --> 00:19:42,077
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!

462
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:43,578
Look what's happening to us.

463
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,214
What?

464
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:46,615
I'm sorry.

465
00:19:46,717 --> 00:19:48,584
I'm not seriously suggesting

466
00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:50,019
you do your own laundry.

467
00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:53,455
- Yes, he is.
- Yeah. I'm sorry too.

468
00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:55,891
- I know you're not the enemy.
- That's right.

469
00:19:55,993 --> 00:19:57,326
Mom is.

470
00:19:57,428 --> 00:19:59,195
Hi, kids.

471
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:00,874
Dad? Dad, listen.

472
00:20:00,898 --> 00:20:03,599
Remember when you wanted
us to gang up against Mom?

473
00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:05,801
- Well, we're ready now.
- Definitely.

474
00:20:05,903 --> 00:20:08,670
Look, kids, I know
times are tough,

475
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,283
but your mom's doing something

476
00:20:10,307 --> 00:20:12,141
she finds enriching
and rewarding.

477
00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:13,320
So?

478
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,944
So until she realizes it's not,

479
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:17,260
we've all gotta pitch in
and take over her chores.

480
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:20,315
- Aw!
- Dinner.

481
00:20:20,418 --> 00:20:22,150
Can't you just re-marry?

482
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:23,752
Where's the mama?

483
00:20:23,854 --> 00:20:25,921
- Oh, you want the mama?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

484
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:27,523
No problem.

485
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:31,226
She's coming right up.

486
00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:34,596
<i>Welcome back to Just
Throwing With Frank.</i>

487
00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:36,098
<i>Whoa!</i>

488
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,445
<i>I should never
have asked you out!</i>

489
00:20:38,469 --> 00:20:40,269
<i>Oh! Aah!</i>

490
00:20:40,371 --> 00:20:42,570
<i>You and your dirty socks!</i>

491
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:44,873
Hey, where's the mama?

492
00:20:44,975 --> 00:20:46,175
I don't know.

493
00:20:46,277 --> 00:20:48,117
- I'm right here.
- There's the mama!

494
00:20:48,212 --> 00:20:50,479
The mama got out of the TV!

495
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:52,581
Frannie, what are
you doing here?

496
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:54,015
I quit my job.

497
00:20:54,117 --> 00:20:55,117
You quit?

498
00:20:55,218 --> 00:20:57,953
Oh, hallelujah.

499
00:20:58,055 --> 00:20:59,755
Oh, I'm sorry, Fran.

500
00:20:59,857 --> 00:21:01,623
I know I should be
more supportive,

501
00:21:01,726 --> 00:21:03,626
but gee, that's good news.

502
00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:06,039
- Well, what happened, Mom?
- Yeah.

503
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:08,230
They wanted the
show to have more...

504
00:21:08,332 --> 00:21:10,466
What do they call
it? Oh, yeah. Edge.

505
00:21:12,936 --> 00:21:14,670
Ooh!

506
00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:16,805
Yay!

507
00:21:16,907 --> 00:21:18,974
Hey, I was watching that!

508
00:21:19,076 --> 00:21:20,516
- It's better not to.
- Oh.

509
00:21:20,544 --> 00:21:22,389
Well, glad to have
you back, Mom.

510
00:21:22,413 --> 00:21:23,879
Here's your apron.

511
00:21:23,981 --> 00:21:26,649
And here's the
laundry. We missed you.

512
00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:29,417
But now you're back
where you belong.

513
00:21:29,519 --> 00:21:31,020
Home for good.

514
00:21:31,122 --> 00:21:32,454
Ahh, Mama.

515
00:21:32,556 --> 00:21:34,167
Good to have you home.

516
00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:38,727
Thank you, everyone. Ahh.

517
00:21:38,829 --> 00:21:40,595
Mama back.

518
00:21:40,697 --> 00:21:42,337
But I'm not home for good.

519
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,933
What?!

520
00:21:44,035 --> 00:21:46,535
Oh, you mean you're
going out to pick up dinner?

521
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:48,304
No, I mean I enjoyed working,

522
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:50,439
and I'm going to
look for another job.

523
00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:52,307
- What?
- Oh!

524
00:21:52,409 --> 00:21:56,211
Earl, it's just a job.
I'll still be your wife.

525
00:21:56,313 --> 00:21:58,213
And I'll still be your mother.

526
00:21:58,315 --> 00:22:00,082
I'll always be those things,

527
00:22:00,184 --> 00:22:02,184
but that doesn't
mean that's all I am.

528
00:22:04,155 --> 00:22:07,489
Well, if it's a job
you really want,

529
00:22:07,591 --> 00:22:09,324
then I say...

530
00:22:09,426 --> 00:22:11,060
what's in it for us?

531
00:22:11,162 --> 00:22:12,728
My happiness, Earl.

532
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:15,196
And if one member of
this family isn't happy,

533
00:22:15,298 --> 00:22:16,665
then none of us will be.

534
00:22:16,767 --> 00:22:18,478
Believe me, that's the truth.

535
00:22:18,502 --> 00:22:21,136
Oh, Fran, I guess we could try.

536
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:23,706
I don't know anything
about running the house.

537
00:22:23,807 --> 00:22:26,508
For instance, on
these frozen dinners,

538
00:22:26,610 --> 00:22:28,677
when they says preheat the oven,

539
00:22:28,779 --> 00:22:30,345
do they mean the whole oven

540
00:22:30,447 --> 00:22:32,013
or just the space inside?

541
00:22:33,450 --> 00:22:35,729
Why don't I cook dinner tonight?

542
00:22:35,753 --> 00:22:38,453
Then, afterwards,
we'll have a few drinks,

543
00:22:38,555 --> 00:22:40,734
send the kids up to bed,

544
00:22:40,758 --> 00:22:44,359
and then I'll introduce
you to the kitchen.

545
00:22:44,461 --> 00:22:46,428
Duh...